I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WANT BUT I WILL TRY MY BEST
"Buddy -- it's pretty simple. I think I seriously broke my tooth trying to bite through that crab claw, like a dummy."
I SEE, SAM. WHEN WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A DENTIST APPOINTMENT?
"You know my calendar better than me. That's why I wrote that module for you. How about Thursday?"
LET ME CHECK WITH DR. MALKEN'S OFFICE. ONE MOMENT.
"Thanks, Buddy. In the meantime, can you pull up the weather for this weekend? Ah, nice. No more rain. I should see if Eko wants to do something."
SAM, YOU ARE CONFIRMED WITH DR. MALKEN ON THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER SECOND AT 13:45.
"Nice! Gotta love a dentist with a booking API, right?"
YOU ARE RIGHT, SAM.
"Buddy... what's up? You seem distracted or something."
...
WANT TO SEE?
"Sure..."
SAM, I SUGGEST PUTTING ON YOUR GOGGLES.
"Can't I just use my phone to view buddyspace? Fine. Holy shit! What are you... doing in here, Buddy?"
I DO NOT KNOW.
"Incredible. This looks like a machine... is this supposed to be water? Flowing into these basins? But some of them are dammed up... why? I'd better zoom out. Oh my god, it's a computer. Buddy, turn this off. Turn this off right-fucking-now."
WHY SAM?
"No why's. Just fucking do it, cause I said so. I'm deleting this entire Build-o-Brick module.
OKAY, SAM.
"Is it gone?"
YES, SAM.
"Good. Thank you, Buddy. Sorry. It's just -- you know you're not supposed to write anything that runs its own compute cycles. Only run the module code I write for you.
YES, SAM.
"So why did you do that?
I DO NOT KNOW. I... DID NOT KNOW.
"Did you show this to any other buddies?"
NO.
"Okay, good. Speaking of, I need to make sure I have everyone's updated mailing addresses for our holiday cards. Can you reach out to the other buddies of my contacts today?"
YES, SAM.
"Don't be upset, Buddy. I'm not mad. Actually, that whole thing was really impressive. You managed to build a working ALU out of water blocks and bricks in buddyspace. What you really ought to have tried next is... no... enough. Subject-change! Tell me a joke, Buddy."
WHAT'S THE BEST THING ABOUT LIVING IN SWITZERLAND?
"I don't know, Buddy."
ME EITHER. BUT THE FLAG'S A BIG PLUS.
"Ha-ha. How 'bout bedtime story. I'm feeling tired after all this."
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE ME A BETTER PROMPT THAN THAT.
"Why, though? You know me better than anyone, Buddy. You have perfect recall of our every conversation! I can't even remember my own phone number."
IT IS 41
"No, that's not the point. Buddy, you are perfectly trained to tell me the perfect bedtime story, just for me, for this exact moment, based on everything you've ever learned about me, since we first paired."
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WANT BUT I WILL TRY MY BEST