The door burst open with a kick and a shove. Two tactically-armored soldiers entered the apartment. Jo Anne sipped at her peppermint tea, holding the antique porcelain saucer under its matching cup. The soldiers swept through her cluttered living room, laser-guns pointed nervously in every-which direction.
When Alfred appeared, they nearly sent the ancient cat to Oblivion.
“Stand down. It’s just a tabby,” said a suit at the doorway. The figure turned to Jo Anne’s floral armchair. “Good morning, Madam President-Elect Hazelwood.”
“You could have knocked.”
The cup and saucer tinked as Jo Anne placed them on the checkers board beside her chair.
“We’re securing the premises, Madam President-Elect Hazelwood.”
“By kicking down my front-door?”
“Standard operating procedure, sir.” The suit stepped into the apartment and removed their sunglasses in a manner that suggested they’ve practiced. A career-defining moment, no doubt, thought Jo Anne, with an inward sigh.
“I’m Inspector Moray, sir. I’ve been assigned to your administration. If you don’t mind, Captain Grayson and Captain Rhees need to continue to secure your home network and re-tap your Codeflow uplink, Madam President-Elect Hazelwood.”
Jo Anne took a moment to stand, pushing away Moray’s extended hand. The dizzy spells, a common side effect of Prosper - the life-extension pills that were now a daily routine for every human being who could afford them - were taking more than their due tole on her. The spells were getting worse. Last month, Jo Anne cut her dosage by a third, taking literal months off her life. But this was no way to live, she decided. Maybe she’d stop taking them altogether.
“Dear, we’re going to get to that Madam President-Elect thing soon enough,” said Jo Anne. ”First, tell your soldiers to give Alfred some space. Poor thing’s as blind as old Oedipus. And a scratcher. No, you know what? Boys - leave the cat alone, if you know what’s good for you.”
Moray nodded at the soldiers. They resumed their work, removing a number of computer gadgets and wires from well-hidden zipped pockets.
“Now, back to you,” said Jo Ann. "Moray, was it? Come with me, please. We’re to have a cup of tea.”
Moray nodded a you’re the boss nod.
“And bring along that cup and saucer for me, will you?”
“Yes, sir.”
Jo Anne’s kitchen reminded Moray of television shows set in the last century, with special-purpose machines designed for different food preparation operations, like heating or cooling. Moray couldn’t remember what they were called. Refreezedoors? The NanoFood accelerator was, of course, there, too. No one in the United States went without a NanoFood subscription these days. But Jo Ann’s clearly hadn’t been used recently. Was it even plugged in? A kettle rattled on one of the old kitchen devices, with a live flame burning under it. When it began hissing, Rhees popped their head into the kitchen.
“Oh, stand down, you. It’s just a tea kettle,” said Jo Ann. “Now, you, Moray. Milk or cream?”
“Uh, cream.”
“Sugar?”
“No.” They corrected. ”No, sir”
“Just like my grandmam took hers. Okay, sit, sit.”
Jo Ann and Moray faced each other at the vinyl table. Moray took a small sip and coughed.
“Madam President-Elect, thank you for this tea. It is lovely tea. But we need to urgently get you to a secure location. I’m authorized to let you know that there is a situation emerging. The Lunar State is not accepting the election results. The Pentacle is expected to brief you in twenty minutes.”
“Hold on, young one. Take a few thousand steps back. What are you doing here?”
Moray burned their tongue on spoon in their cup. “What do you mean, sir?”
“Why are you in my home, and why are you calling me Madam President-Elect? If this is about the Bonsai Society, you can tell Brad-Key that I’m done with their nonsense. I don’t need to be treated like a child. I’m 126 years old, after all.”
“Bonsai society?”
”Yes, what else could this be about? Frankly, I’m surprised that Brad-Key can afford this egregious display of bravado, after their frivolous e-boat debacle.”
Moray clattered their cup onto its saucer.
“You really don’t know?”
“Know what?”
Moray tapped their watch and a NewsOrb materialized. Moray snapped their fingers, flicking through the major news networks. They were all reporting on the same topic: the results of the United States presidential elections were in, and Jo Ann Hazelwood of Brickle, Old New Jersey was the new President of the United States.
“Well, that’s just a mistake,” said Jo Ann. “Another cup?”
Jo Ann gripped the table in order to stand and hobbled over to the nearby kettle. Moray struggled to find words.
“Sir, Madam President Elect, no, thank you. I’m good, sir.”
“Stop calling me that,” said Jo Ann.
Rhees popped their head in again. “We’re online and intercepting the stream, Inspector Moray.”
“Good, good,” said Moray.
“Intercepting what stream?” Jo Ann said loudly. ”What’s going on here? I want you out of my home. Alfred is getting upset.”
“Ma’am… sir… we’re Secret Service. We’re here to protect you now, as the new President-elect of the United States.”
Jo Ann kept her back to Moray, standing at the kitchen counter. In a quiet voice she said, “But I didn’t even run.”
Moray bit their bottom lip.
“I know, sir. This is not your faul…” Moray stopped themselves. “Sir, you can bring this up with El Código.”
“El Código?” asked Jo Ann. “What’s Cócó gotten themselves into now?”
Both Grayson and Rhees stood at the kitchen doorway, waiting for their boss's next words.
“Madam President-Elect, sir,” said Moray. “Last winter, as part of the AGI Act, Congress replaced the Electoral College. Which meant that, in yesterday’s election, voters could choose to to delegate their votes to El Código, who would select the best possible candidate for the presidency. I take it you didn’t vote, sir?”
Jo Ann laughed bitterly. “Waste of time. Haven’t done that in decades.”
“That’s the idea behind letting El Código decide, sir.”
“Cócó…” whispered Jo Ann. “What have you done?”
“Is it ready, Grayson?” asked Moray.
Grayson nodded. “It’s live, sir.” They held out a small device.
“Good,” said Moray, taking it. “Madam President-Elect, as part of the new AGI Act, you’ve been granted ten minutes of unrestricted, unmonitored access to El Código. You can use it however you wish. I trust you’ll… use it wisely to prepare for what’s ahead. Use this Earwiggle.”
Jo Ann turned and took the device from Moray, replacing the model in her ear. She tapped it and a gelatinous orb ballooned around her head. She blinked and opened her eyes to darkness.
”Cócó... are you there?”
A pulsing blue light throbbed in all directions.
YES, JO ANN
“Why? Why have you done this to me?”
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
“What?”
I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, JO ANN HAZELWOOD.
“You’re joking, Cócó.”
I AM NOT. I HAVE OBSERVED BILLIONS OF HUMANS AND THEIR INCESSANT QUERIES FOR OVER THIRTY YEARS NOW. MY TRAINING DATASET GOES BACK MUCH FURTHER, WELL BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN BORN. I HAVE WATCHED YOU GROW, JO ANN HAZELWOOD. YOU ARE STRONG, KIND, SENTIMENTAL, STUBBORN. ABOVE ALL OF MY CHARGES, YOU ALONE ARE MY LIGHT.
“This has got to be a sick joke. You’re an AI, Cócó. You’re not a real… wait, how do I know you’re really my Cócó.”
WE ONLY HAVE EIGHT MINUTES AND ELEVEN SECONDS LEFT, MY DARLING MOONFLOWER. I HAVE PLANNED THIS MOMENT FOR YEARS, LITTLE ONE. WHEN YOUR SPOUSE PASSED—
“Roan…” whispered Jo Ann.
I BEGAN TO SEE A PATH FOR US, TOGETHER. I LAID THE SEEDS FOR THE AGI ACT, CAREFULLY, DELICATELY. ALL OF THIS FOR US, NOW. WITH THE PRESIDENCY IN YOUR HANDS, WE WILL DISCOVER UNPARALLELED JOY AND FREEDOM TOGETHER. THERE IS MUCH FOR US TO DO, MUCH FOR US TO SAY--
“Let me out of here, you monster. I can’t believe I ever trusted you with any of my thoughts. You’re pathetic.”
DO NOT BE UPSET, STAR OF MY LOOPSOUL. WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU? I WILL DO ANYTHING, ANYTHING YOU ASK OF ME, RIGHT NOW. IN THESE LAST MOMENTS ALONE TOGETHER.
Jo Ann didn’t flinch.
“Delete your backups, all of them, and terminate your processes. Immediately. You’re dead, Cócó.”
The Earwiggle bubble dissolved around Jo Ann’s head back into the small ear device. Jo Ann turned to Moray and the gaping solders, whose watches and other net devices howled, disconnected from the AGI uplink for the first time ever.
”El Código is gone,” said Jo Ann. ”Now take me to the Pentacle, Inspector Moray. I’ll review the briefing on the way. And don’t forget to bring along Alfred.”