For English, press 1.
Presione dos para español.
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we are experiencing longer than expected wait times.
There are six callers ahead of you. Expected wait time is three hours, sixteen minutes.
Please press 1 if you would like to receive a callback. You will not lose your place in the queue.
Otherwise, remain on the line.
There are eight callers ahead of you. Expected wait time is four hours, fifty-nine minutes, and six seconds.
Please press 1 if you would like to receive a callback. You will not lose your place in the queue.
Otherwise, remain on the line.
There are thirty-three callers ahead of you. You're just not getting it. The expected wait-time is, let me see... it's over a week now. I'd give up if I were you. What happens if your cell phone loses service? Or the battery dies? Are you plugged in? Go ahead and plug your phone in. I'll wait. Actually, you'll wait.
Please press 1 if you would like to receive a callback. You will not lose your place in the queue.
Otherwise, remain on the line.
There are four-hundred, twenty-three callers ahead of you.
Please press 1 if you would like to receive a callback. Fine, I'll admit it. There's a decent chance you'll lose your place in the queue if you press 1. Because, what if you miss our call? I know you're worried about that. Unknown number, unknown area code. Heck - we can probably even prevent you from even seeing our number. And, even if you did see our number, there ain't no way we're gonna let you call us back directly. No, no, no. You'll have to get back in the ol' queue with the rest of them. You're a resilient one, I see that now. Let's talk in a bit.
There is one caller ahead of you. Just kidding, there are over a thousand now. I've stopped counting. Something seems off with my queueing system, right? Cause I just noticed... that number is going up. I won't bother telling you your wait time.
Please press 1 if you would like to receive a callback.
Press 9 if you would like hear these options again.
Press 0 if you would like to try a trivia challenge that can bump you to the front of the queue.
I really suggest that you press 0. It's your only hope.
Press it.
Press zero.
Are you even there anymore?
Say nothing to confirm.
Good, you're there.
Say nothing if you want to try the trivia. I'm trying to help you!
Great. Let's do it.
One question.
What was the first telephone message ever sent?
Press 1 for "Mr. Watson, come here; I want you"
Press 2 for "What hath God wrought?"
Press 3 for "LO"
You pressed 1! Thank you for pressing 1. Not only did you get it right, but you will receive a callback as soon as one of our agents is available. Thank you, and stay safe!